Messing With Your Elders
by Valiant-Poptart
Summary: Silly little fanfic about Desmond having his fun. Hey, the guy has to entertain himself somehow!


**Messing with Your Elders**

_Abstergo Industries_:

"Hey, Luce, can I ask you a question?" Desmond asked Lucy during one of their "breaks" as Dr. Vidic was called away for the moment.

The young female scientist looked up from the screen for a moment. "Sure, shoot," She said before returning her gaze back to monitoring their progress with the Animus.

Desmond casually swung his legs over the giant machine which allowed him to break the laws of..._Whatever_, turning to get a good look at Lucy, "I can practically do anything I want as Altair, right? As long as I don't do anything that completely strays off the path, yeah?"

Lucy nodded while continuing with her work,"That's basically it. If you were to, for example, travel to a destination like Jerusalem, you wouldn't per say have to take the exact route Altair took. As long as you reach the major points, you can basically do whatever you please," She paused, eyebrows furrowed as she glanced up at Desmond, "Why do you ask?"

Humming in what he thought was in an innocent tone, Desmond shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, no apparent reason. I was just curious, is all," He said, kicking his legs childishly. Lucy frowned, but chose to not say anything, instead resuming to play around with the keys on the screen.

For a good minute or so, the two decided not to break the silence, however, Desmond being Desmond just had to say something. "Think I could try something?" He asked just as innocently as his humming was.

"That depends on what exactly you're planning, Desmond," Lucy replied stopping her work to face him.

Despite all attempts to control himself, Desmond grinned broadly, "Nothing too serious, just something I wanted to try in the Animus." He shrugged his shoulders rather sheepishly, trying to present himself as someone who was only curious and wanted to try something completely harmless.

Not that Lucy was fooled for a moment. "Vidic will be pissed if we fooled around with the Animus. You know that," Her tone indicated she was absolutely serious, but her face showed an uneasiness that Desmond was probably going to feel like an ass later for taking advantage of.

His grin grew wider, "Well, the doc doesn't need to know. You could just pull me out before he comes in and no one will be the wiser! C'mon Luce, it's just for fun." He grinned at her for a few more seconds until she finally caved in.

She sighed, "Alright, fine. Get in and be quick about it."

*

The sun beat down on Altair's back as he raced across the flat rooftops. Fortunately, it was a relatively uneventful journey to his destination. The only victim was an unlucky archer who happened to cross his path, only to find his neck ripped open moments later.

Altair gracefully jumped through the open ceiling of his destination, boldly walking in on the man who manned this Assassin's Bureau.

"There is no need for you to be here, or at least, I have received no word of the need for your presence," The man addressed Altair without breaking the contact he had with the map in front of him.

Altair stepped further into the room regardless. "Malik," He greeted civilly.

The other paused only for a moment to shoot a brief glare at the unwanted visitor before scribbling some more onto his parchment, "Oh wait. You've come to bother me, haven't you? Don't waste my time, Altair. I have no patience for you today. Now, get out before I _make_ you leave."

He scoffed, daring to approach Malik with his usual haughty air, "_You_? Make _me_ leave? Surely you are joking."

Malik closed his eyes, physically trying to calm his rising temper. His hand went to his forehead as he forced himself to continue the conversation without the use of knives, "What do you want? Hurry up and spit it out so I can be through with you."

In a sign of surrender, Altair held his hands up in front of him, "Look, I didn't come here to fight with you, Malik. I actually..." He stopped in mid-sentence, clearly flustered by what to say next, "...I wanted to show you that I still value you as a friend."

At this, Malik's hand slipped from his face. He stared at Altair with a look caught between incredulous and surprise. "What? Had a guard hit you so hard that you've gone raving mad?" Malik practically sputtered.

Altair laughed humorlessly, "You know, you are really making this "not here to fight with you" thing very hard. No, there was no guard. Is it so hard to believe I have at least a shred of decency?"

The other man raised an eyebrow, "Do you honestly want me to answer that?" Shaking his head, Malik answered his own question, "Of course not. Now, really, stop fooling around and tell me the real reason you are here."

Frowning, Altair slapped a hand to his own forehead. This was obviously going to be harder than he thought. "Here," He said finally, extending his hand out which caused Malik to lean away from him. At his reaction, Altair rolled his eyes. "It's just my hand, I'm not going to stab a fellow brother."

Still, Malik made sure there was some distance between his body and Altair's hand. Eying the appendage wearily he replied, "You wouldn't stab a "fellow brother", but you would leave them to their doom. If you were trying to get me to trust you again, you are doing a rather awful job at it. And if there is no real purpose for your visit, be on your way already!"

Altair had half a mind to punch, not stab, Malik in the face. "Point taken, Malik, but the past is the past. Just give me your hand and I promise to leave soon afterwards," When the other still stared at him incredulously, he added with a hint of a smirk, "What, are you afraid of me?"

That did the trick. "No, I am not!" He snapped, offering his hand albeit reluctantly. Altair chuckled softly as he took Malik's hand and formed a fist. Malik only stared as Altair did the same with his own hand, clearly confused by his actions.

It wasn't until Altair smacked their fists together did he finally speak up, "What is this stupidity?"

Grinning a grin that could only be described as "shit eating" Altair replied, "That, my friend, was what you can call a "bro fist" and only the best of guy friends can perform!" He cackled, very unlike his usual self.

Malik withdrew his hand as if he were just burned, his eye twitching in annoyance. "Get out! Get out you, idiot! I don't know what exactly has possessed your mind, but whatever it is I want it gone before you even _think_ about returning!" He yelled, jabbing his finger in the direction of the door. He looked quite in the mood to kill a certain assassin, handicapped or not.

Altair only laughed some more, doubling over as he clutched his stomach. Though, Malik was finally through with Altair and grabbed a book from the shelf behind him before violently throwing it in the other man's direction.

"Brothers for life!" Altair called back, dashing out of the room and flashing a predatory smirk as another book whizzed by his head.

"_Out!_" Malik roared, looking ready to burst a vein.

*

Desynchronizing suddenly, Desmond was thrown back into the present, waking up to the rather creepy face of Dr. Vidic. Lucy was standing next to the old man, looking a little harassed and guilty.

"Oh, jeez, it's like morning all over again," Desmond groaned as a headache ripped through his head.

The doctor only scowled, "Glad to see you're enjoying yourself, Mr. Miles."

After the pain subsided, Desmond couldn't help but chuckle, "You had to admit, that was funny."

Unbelievably, Vidic's frown deepened, "We are wasting time and that is not funny, Mr. Miles. This is not a vacation where you can just fool around, doing what you please." He gestured for Desmond to lie down, "There is some _real_ business we need to finish. Now, lie down and no funny business this time, yes?"

"Alright, alright," He shrugged in resignation, about to do as he was told before straightening again, "Hey Doc, before I go back in..." He raised his hand, closing it into a fist and grinning like a fool.

For a moment, Vidic could only stare at the fist presented before him. Lucy shook her head, unable to believe the stupidity Desmond was showing. "No, Mr. Miles. Just get into the machine," Vidic finally said, still with that scowl on his face.

"Come on, there's no harm in it,"

"This is stupid. We are wasting time!"

"...I won't go in until you do it,"

Vidic glared at Desmond, muttering something about forcing him into the Animus, but was quickly cut off by a stern look from Lucy. Eventually Vidic sighed, softly cursed "My God, _I swear_..." and bumped his fist against Desmond's.

When Desmond only grinned wider at him, saying, "See? Wasn't that so bad?" Vidic smacked squarely in the back of his head, successfully making the younger man cringe,

"Fine. Now shut up and get into the Animus. I expect outstanding results today, Mr. Miles."

Despite being smacked by an old man, Desmond mockingly saluted, "Yes sir!" and laid down.

–

_Assassin's Hideout_:

"And that's how I got to bro fist with the ol' Doc," Desmond finished, grinning from his seat in the Animus 2.1.

Rebecca snickered. "Seriously? Like, for real?" The question was directed at Lucy, who was currently burying her face in her hands.

Nodding her head, Lucy replied, "Unfortunately, that's what really happened."

Shaun was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closed, "I knew you were an idiot, but...Wow. That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

Desmond rolled his eyes, "It wasn't that stupid. It made sense, they were friends (well, at least in the end) and brothers of the same creed. They _should_ have bro fisted."

Shaun threw his hands up, spinning around to face the computer screen again, "Whatever, think what you like. You're the one screwing around in the Animus." The comment was meant to sting, but Desmond was already past feeling the barbs of the Brit. Instead, his mind shifted in another direction, ignoring Shaun.

"Maybe I should do the same with Ezio. I think he would receive it better than Malik," Desmond thought aloud.

"I'll throw a book at you for him." Shaun answered anyways.

Still ignoring Shaun, Desmond leaned back into the Animus, pondering how to come about it. "Didn't you already hug the guy?" Rebecca inquired as she set up the machine for him.

Desmond made a face, "That's so...So unmanly. A bro fist would make up for it."

"Enough about bro fisting! Let's just finish this up," Lucy declared from her desk.

Chuckling softly, Desmond submitted and let himself relax before feeling that familiar jerk of being wretched into his past through his DNA.

*

Two knocks on the door, as per usual, and Ezio stepped inside.

"Oh, Ezio! Good to see you! How can I be of assistance?" A friendly voice asked as the owner of said voice stopped working on whatever they were doing to greet him.

Pocketing the parchment he had in his hand, Ezio smiled, "I wanted to show you something, my friend."

The other man tilted his head in curiosity, "Hmm? Another page I assume?" Though, when Ezio shook his head, he frowned a little in bewilderment, "Then what is it?"

"Leonardo, give me your hand and I'll show you..."


End file.
